F%^&#ing forks!!

The title of today's post is for my friend Paris. I'll tell the story in a bit. Paris C. I, love the, crap outta you!

 Firstly, I have to apologize because I forgot Calvin, who is my current "love interest". He's freaking adorable. And he lives in Burg, which is pretty close to home. Ha.

So, for the past three summers, I've worked at a boy scout ranch, on a mountain that's pretty much in my backyard. I work in the snack bar at the trading post, which I love because I see everybody and it's tons of fun. Bad part is, we have the longest hours and nacho cheese smells REALLY bad.
Anyway, the first year I worked there, nothing too extraordinary happened. I was trying to fix the doors of an ice freezer (yanno, the type you see outside liquor stores that say ICE all over them?), slammed the door, and busted my hand pretty good. On a side note, I'm a clumsy little fuck gravitationally challenged. I fall down and get hurt a lot. I'm used to it. I don't go anywhere without an ace bandage. So, the next year I work there, I was cleaning the freezer, was actually inside of it, and JUST as I finished up I was attacked by mutant squirrels and fought them off with a shovel stood up too much, bashed the top of my head, and knocked myself out. Now, my supervisor, manager, boss-type lady, Shelly, had been checking on me about every ten minutes and had been nice enough to go and grab me some lunch. Well, while she was out, I was KO'd.
Have I mentioned it was a boy scout ranch/camp? Meaning it's swarming with little heathens kids between 10 and 18. I was found by two kids, about 11, who thought I was asleep. I came to a few minutes after they found me with the WORST headache ever. I couldn't even open my eyes. Just as they get me out, Shelly Ma'am comes around the corner, a plate in hand, and goes "What happened?!?"
So they get me inside and the medic comes down. They think I have a concussion and I get my very first neck brace!! My other boss person Bill, is having a minor freak out, but get the ambulance on its way and calls Mum, who has her typical fire and death rampage, death to who hurt my baby Mommy-freak-out. Anyway, Shelly and Emily Sweeting are taking turns holding my head still and ice on me when the ambulance gets there. They load me up and the paramedic get me all wired up and on a drip and asks me to open my eyes and answer some questions. So, I look at her and somewhere in my brain, somehow, recognition sparks. She asked me where I went to school and I said Ags, then she looked kinda confused and asked what year I was in. Told ehr I was going to be a Senior and then I said "OOooooohh, you're Heffe's moooom." Just like that. Heffe or Jeff was a classmate of mine-funny as hell. Anyway, so yeah, EVERYONE knew I'd had SOME incident at camp when I got home. Fantastic. I should add that the guy I worked in the SB with had a crush on me and was told to go outside, then wouldn't let ANYONE even near the doors, kinda like small terrier bites everybody's ankles. He's a good kid, does dumb stuff sometimes.
So this last year, I was finally in the big girls' cabin-YAAY! So it was Paris and myself, and we had three foreign scouts from China, with an exchange program and they were pretty fun. Ming gave me some awesome patches. Paris and I were pretty much each others brains best friends. As for the title, I had been showing some of the kids a game with some plastic knives and still had them in my pocket. In a fit of rabies randomosity,  I stuck them in between the two boards of the bench we had outside. As Paris and I go to do laundry one night, we BOTH walk by the knives, look at them, and say, "Oh look! Now we will be safe from sitting down Fucking forks!" As we're walking away, I say, "So, we both just walked past knives and called them forks. We've been living together tooo long, even if its only been like two and a half weeks."
Remarkable injury this year: my pride and my elbow. I was cleaning the freezer (wearing a helmet this time), was leaning in, holding myself with my left arm, when I readjusted and slipped, banging the crap out of my elbow. It was swollen and bruised and real pretty. I couldn't extend it past about 50 degrees. Fantastic.
That freezer's gunna kill me.
Also, if you read Mrs. B.'s blog, she has little faith in me. I've drank. I'll admit it. I've been piss-poor black out drunk in fact. Once, ever. Anyway, I don't drink THAT much anymore and haven't drank once since I started college. YE OF LITTLE FAITH!
So, TE went to a VB game today, in support of the girls we played with in high school. I went to a VB here and texted my coach, telling her I missed playing. She told me she missed me even more and I cried. Not many teachers can make me cry. Nan can. Mrs. D did once too.

Well, that's really all I've got for today.

Ta-ta for now,
P7